Narcissists won’t divorce you for various reasons, as their motivations often revolve around maintaining control, preserving their self-image, or securing their sources of narcissistic supply. Here are some reasons why a narcissist won’t divorce you.
1. Fear of Losing Control
A narcissist won’t leave or divorce you because divorce entails a significant loss of control for a narcissist. It’s a blow to their storyline when they no longer have the same level of influence over their partner’s life. They may have found pleasure in sabotaging your goals. Losing this control can be particularly distressing for individuals with narcissistic traits.
2. Maintaining a Positive Image
Narcissists must keep up their phony public image. They care greatly how they are perceived by others. For this reason, it is unlikely that they will divorce you. The idea of being viewed as a failure in marriage may be intolerable to them. They may go to great lengths to preserve the appearance of a successful and harmonious relationship no matter how toxic.
3. Financial Considerations
Narcissists may be concerned about the financial implications of divorce. If you are the breadwinner, they may be very aware that they will be broke without you. The division of assets, alimony, and other financial settlements can be perceived as threats to their lifestyle and economic well-being.
Watch out for love bombing and gaslighting when they want to stay married to you.
4. Fear of Abandonment
There are many reasons why a narcissist won’t divorce you. While narcissists may devalue and mistreat their partners, they fear being abandoned themselves. The prospect of their partner leaving them can trigger intense anxiety and insecurity, leading them to resist divorce even in unhealthy or toxic relationships.
5. Securing Sources of Supply
Divorce may mean losing a consistent source of narcissistic supply, especially if the spouse provides admiration, attention, and validation. The narcissist may be unwilling to let go of this source and might attempt to manipulate or control the partner to stay in the relationship. They know they have been mistreating you, but they don’t care until you are ready to finally walk away.
6. Legal Battles and Power Struggles
Narcissists may view divorce proceedings as opportunities for power struggles and attempts to exert control. They might engage in prolonged legal battles or use the legal system as a means of continuing to dominate and manipulate their partner.
Dragging out the divorce is another sign that the narcissist doesn’t want to divorce you.
7. Refusal to Acknowledge Fault
Narcissists often struggle to acknowledge their own faults or take responsibility for problems in the relationship. The idea of accepting blame for the failure of the marriage may be inconceivable to them, leading them to resist the divorce process.
It’s important to recognize why a narcissist won’t divorce you no matter how badly they have treated you. If you are dealing with a narcissistic partner and considering divorce, seeking the guidance of legal professionals and mental health experts who specialize in such situations can be crucial for your well-being and the well-being of any involved children.